on power

I write this entry from Dancing Peacock Paradise, where I am on retreat this weekend.  I arrived here yesterday afternoon, and the weather was perfect. I trekked to a small campsite cradled by a leaning tree and could slightly see Beauty lake.

 

I wasn't intending to turn this into a night of practice. All of a sudden it was the reason I was here.  I like it when my angels trick me like that.

 

I came out of the night knowing one thing: I am still afraid of my own power. I'm afraid of the responsibility it will bring. I'm even more afraid of  how it will take me further away from people around me. While I will be more unified to the One in the whole, I will be more separate in 'mind' conciousness of lives around me. Or so I think. I'm still taking baby steps. I don't have to do it all at once. I don't have to do anything. I laugh as I read what I just wrote.

 

I don't have to. I just really, really want to.

 

Blessed be.