tribes

I've decided I'm a member of an unknown tribe. I'm withdrawing my membership to the various tribes I've been born into and tried to make myself a part of. I've only just realized that I've been meant NOT to fit in. My whole life I've been trying to, and it's been killing my spirit and manifesting in my body. I'm plugging my circuits (life force) into this tribe, because this tribe I will support and I know that they sure as heck support me. Most of my tribe don't realize i've made them part of it or at least they don't say so openly. It doesn't matter, because that's how I see them. When I'm around them I feel electrified, excited, ALIVE. I feel like they're looking into my Spirit to measure who I am and how I'm doing, not my body, my clothes, or my actions. We're all connected in this very subtle but powerful level that I've realized has satisfied my need to be loved and part of something greater than myself.

I've been reading on the basic human need to worship the sacred in a group. It doesn't matter how or what. I've found my sacred worship tribe as well. I am well again. I don't look at the world with the same eyes I used to, Beloved! These perceptions I've fed over the years...they've led me to this moment, but from now on I'm taking the reins and becoming a CONCIOUS BEING, one aware of what's behind my eyes and how it affects what is in front of them.

I want to talk about self-worth. You see, I used to measure it (and I still do to a degree-I'm working on it), on how successful I appear: do I look good/attractive? do I receive praise from those I respect and admire? am I financially independent? do people/friends look to me for an opinion, or advice? am I able to take care of myself and fulfill the needs of my family, whether I think I should or not?

well, guess what. Henceforth I shall only measure self-worth by one standard: am I fulfilling my Heart's desire? In other words, instead of having my brain find all instances when I've felt good (because I looked good), and bad (because I didn't do what I think I was supposed to do) and see which one outweighs the other, I now think: "My life is my message. I am fulfilling my Destiny every moment of every day. Every breath I take is purposeful, is grateful, is loving and I am empowered to make choices."

In other words:

"I AM Free."