The Big Blue (as seen by Akemi)

I received my copy of this movie yesterday from Netflix, and promptly put it on as soon as I got home at 5. Good thing too, because it was almost 3 hours long. It was a delicious 3 hours, though. If you don't like endings spoiled don't read this!

It was a very, very deep story. At the end of the movie I had to sit for a few minutes to soak it in. Immediately after I spent about 1 hour going back and reviewing scenes to understand the journey a bit better. This is what came to me:

These two men, Jacques and Enzo, by Grace, knew exactly who they were and what they were here to do. Early on, their life is defined by water, and diving. You see Jacques swimming and feeding the fish, later going back and doing it again. In the end, he chooses that world over this, because he knows who he is. Nothing-not earthly love, not companionship or sex, even a child-can make you deny who you are. He came from that world and had to return to it. This is an amazingly powerful analogy of our own journey here. We come from a different world, not this one. However, unlike Jacques, most of us have layer after layer of misdirected crusty energy on us, and we cannot see clearly who we are. We get lost in the world. Jacques enjoys his life. He makes fun of his uncle, he makes love to Johana, he eats Mamma's neverending bowls of spaghetti-but in the end, he is who he is, and that is so powerfully imprinted on every level of his being that he cannot truly deny it and exist. In the end one may think "oh my god! he chose to die!!!" But after thinking about it, I think he chose true life. I don't believe he ever dies, he transforms into those beings he so cherishes and admires-those beautiful mermaids.

I learned another lesson from Johana. As much as her world was Jacques, and there was truly something amazing about her connection with him-she knew she had to do something for herself. She wanted a child. It was very obvious to me (and her), what Jacques' priorities were. The first time they made love he quickly left her to make love to a mermaid.

This is something that I've struggled with: knowing the man that I love so well, knowing his passions and destiny and then allowing it to happen without wanting to have him all to myself! We fall in love with this amazing man, with amazing capabilities and powerfully attractive commitment and dedication-the intensity itself drawing us in. Somewhere along the way, we lose the ability to see that objectively and begin with the fears and desires. "I want you for myself! I'm real! I'm here! Don't go!" When in reality, the reason we connected so much in the first place was that true passion of knowing Self, and fulfilling Self.

My conclusions are as follows:
1.Nothing can change that true vision of Self. Inner Divinity cannot be denied when truly seen.
2. True love is selfless.

Blessed be.